rough draft #3

Boom Boom Boom ! 3 shots fired and everybody screaming. It was as if a rat ran buy then one person screams then every body screams. All that was going through my head at the time was did anybody get hurt. I ran to the front doors and found my dad looking for me my mom and my sisters."Oh my god wheres my family"He said as I walked past him. He saw me and he yelled . “What are you doing here you could get real hurt. “Dad I am sorry it's just that I can't find mom or my sisters”. I was getting a little nervous as I was looking for them I thought they had gotten shot."NO don't think like that “. I told my self as I was looking for them. “ Dad look theres mom and my tia Tanya. I told my dad in relief . When I ran to them I hugged my little cousin who was crying because he was so terrified. As I was hugging him I started to feel a knot in my throat I was scared .I started to look around and saw none of my coisins crying.I didint want to be one of the little kids. I heard my mom cry to me so that I can get away from the door. As I looked out the window I saw some lights It was the cops. I finally felt safe and I saw everybody walking out the hall doors. I ran to the car and did not realize I was holding my grandmas hand. As I was holding her hand I saw about five kids hand cuffed talking to the cops. One of them looked at me and I let go of my grandmas hand at the speed of light .I thought to myself this guy just tried to shoot somebody and hes not crying or hes not holding his grandmas hand,why should I ?

rough draft one

My first and worst quinceniera

"Wow you look good"
My mom told as I was getting dressed for my first and worst quinceniera.As I was walking to the car I was kind of excited and I thought maybe this could be fun I mean I look good I smell good and I got this fresh hair cut it might be better then I thought.But as I got in the car I saw the time.It was 4:45 and we had to be at the church at 5:00 and the church was still miles away we couldn't get there at 15 minutes because it was traffic our.All that was running through my head was that they are going to think I'm disrespectful because I'm late.When I got to the church it was 5:10 and nobody was inside I was I was so happy that I was just in time but I wasn't so happy after I got off the car because it was cold and we had already been waiting 15 minutes until the pastor came.

After the church I thought well maybe since now we are going to take pictures and on our way to take pictures and we are inside low riders maybe I'm starting fresh but I was wrong because one of then cars was messed up and we were just sitting there in this nice car with nothing to do.When the car Finlay started we drove off and I felt like a movie star or something because everybody was looking at our cars.We got to the beach and were having a blast taking pictures.It was cold but I didn't care I was having fun for the first time.Then the cars drove us to the hall and the heat was on because we had to do the valt's which we had been practicing , for a long time.
As me and mt partner were walking gown the hall we were scared because all the attention was on us because we were the first ones out.After we did the surprise dance which was real fun because we were actually dancing.